Operation: Grow Up

Being the baby in the family is one of the best and worst things. You get spoiled rotten and can get away with damn near murder but being the last of the Mohicans also makes it hard for everyone to let go. It’s still hard for them to grasp that I’m living with someone of the opposite sex (gasp!) and that there’s a good chance we may be engaging in more than just pillow fights at night… But hey, that’s life and we all gotta grow up at some point. And now my big grown up moment is days away… my College Graduation (cue choir).
First off let me say graduating from college is NOTHING like graduating from high school. So much is different about being 21 than being 18 and it’s more than just the freedom of enjoying the perks of alcohol worry-free. When I graduated high school, I knew I’d attend Ohio State and I knew I’d still come home on weekends and for breaks.
But this time around something’s different…
In fact, a lot of things are different. For one, I will more than likely never live with my parents again. There will be no “going home” on breaks and weekends because I will more than likely never have a “winter break or spring break” again. I’m about to enter the real world and it all seems surreal.
Just yesterday I was moving in the dorms on Ohio State’s campus horrified to find one of my roommates had already met a guy and took him back to the room. (Let’s just say that was the moment I knew I’d be living off campus real soon.)
Just yesterday I was learning my way around such a massive campus and was proud once I knew where all my classes were by heart and then disheartened when I realized how fast the quarter had gone by and that I would need to memorize an entirely new schedule.
Just yesterday I was still getting the O-H-I-O cheer down and getting used to responding back with the appropriate letters on cue.
Just yesterday I was learning what a pro show was and seeing where all the black people on campus liked to congregate.
Just yesterday I was discovering that icebreakers would run me $30 if I didn’t get in line before 10pm or was lucky enough to be Greek. I didn’t make the cut for neither so I soon gave up on icebreakers.
Just yesterday I was learning the techniques of the almighty college sport of beer pong… and that black people usually would pass on a game.
And just like that it’s all coming to an end.
I’m about to be an adult with real adult bills and real adult problems.

Welcome to the Real World.

Love Don't Live Here Anymore...

People walk in your life & back out again... Everything happens for a reason though. But why? Why can't I live my life full of the bliss portrayed everywhere else but in my sad little world? Love is a strange thing. It can build you up & tear you back down in seconds. 4 tiny little letters made into a powerful word, a word paired with 2 others that can be a dramatic sentence when heard. But how real is this so called concept of loving another and giving them your all. Taking the good, the bad, and ugly regardless of anything because you love this person. I've loved. I've been loved. I've lost love. So is love really worth all the tears, heart aches, pain? YES. Love is pain and through all the rain & pain there is joy. Joy with having someone love you for you, all your flaws & mishaps. Joy knowing that when you wake up in the morning, somebody is waking up somewhere thinking of you, too. Love is the joy felt when you're with your significant other. The joy of love gives you a sense of purpose. Though we will never fully know our purpose on this earth, being in love gets us one step closer to realizing this destiny. Once in love, we live our lives for one another. We laugh harder & cry harder with our significant other in mind. Nothing but our significant other comes to mind. Love is an instinct of humans. We live for love, we die for love.

A Letter to my City

Dear Cincinnati,

I been meaning to get this one off my chest for awhile now. I never thought I’d see the day when I’d be telling you this but I think you and I will need to split. As much as I don’t want to, I have to. You’ve been there for me for the past 21 years and I’ve enjoyed it. Avondale is truly the best—and all I gotta do is mention two words: Blair Park.

But as I’ve grown from a sneaky flyy girl running the streets tryna make it home before those street lights, I’m afraid to say you have not grown much. In fact, you’ve downsized. The Jazz Festival or should I be correct here and say “Macy’s Music Festival” is no longer the premier social event of the summer like it used to be. Earth, Wind & Fire has been the headliner since I can remember. Now don’t get me wrong I can jam to some old school tunes but really can’t we switch it up a little?

Secondly, the social scenes at Eden Park on a beautiful Sunday afternoon or the Strip during afterhours have both dwindled down to a select few trying to keep the tradition strong but who can’t keep others on the bandwagon. Honestly, you’re not much fun anymore. You’re not trying new things. When I see up and coming artists’ tour dates, you are a rare stop. Only established artists stop to visit because you can’t give new artists the love they need. Hell, you don’t even give your own the love they need. There’s talent there that needs to be fostered but you’re not helping much.

And as much as I wanted to stay in denial and say that you really can be like New York or Atlanta, I know the lies have to stop. And they have to stop NOW. Let’s face it. You’ll never be like them. The only similarity among you all is the cesspool of wannabes: ie, models, promoters, rappers, singers, and whatever other “–ers” there are. But at least some wannabes in other places make it to the “being” stage.

But with you no one ever progresses and this is why I have to move on. You will always be my favorite but I gotta do this for me. Sorry.

Yours truly,

Ms Mila J